I have had a beautiful relationship with you, yet the most agonizing one too. Being with you was all that I ever thought of and wanted. I could never imagine myself without you. You gradually became a habit; my past, my present and my future. While walking down this road with you, I never thought that I would be the one to choose a different path and walk away from you. It was never easy, and till today I am captivated by your memories. I can’t express the pain that I have had to go through ever since I decided to away from you and never look back again.
It’s not always that we want to leave someone who we love genuinely and have a profound affection for, but sometimes it becomes necessary to shut your doors for someone who is nothing but toxic for you. It isn’t necessary that the person who we get into a relationship with will always remain the same person, or even be the right one. While I was with you realized that it is not you who I was looking for. I tried my best to put up with you and always be by your side, but when I realized that my love and efforts would never be reciprocated, I had to move forward without you for my betterment.
I miss watching movies with you; I have to fight the urge to message you and to tell you that I miss you every day. I still cannot get used to picturing myself without you. I miss you promising me every day to be by my side forever. I get teary-eyed while recalling our crazy days and nights together. It isn’t easy to believe that you were lying when you said that I was your best friend and that you cannot think of your life without me. Coming to terms with this deceit will be something of a lifelong struggle. Sometimes I want you to lie to me and keep me in the same delusion that you always had kept me in. I realized it very late that all your promises, emotions and feelings were an illusion which you purposely kept me in. It was all for show.
It breaks my heart to think of how you made an utter mockery of my genuine love for you. It hurts to feel all the pain that you have put me through. All the sleepless nights that I have had to go through and, sometimes, I still do, and it all haunts me. You shook my belief in love; you made me question my sanity, you made me think that love is a thing of fairy tales that never come true. You clouded my mind with the idea that there is no such thing as truth in feelings and there never will be any real, passionate love. I have now come to realize that it is you who were the problem. It was you who couldn’t love and mistreated the ones who you claimed to love, but in fact, it was a joke to you, something you did before hitting the bed at night only to wake up completely unapologetic as if you never broke anyone’s heart.